Fithos Lusec Chorus Vinosec
by Gunblade Queen
Summary: Co-write with Pegasus. Final Fantasy VIII gets the musical treatment with silliness from overture to chorus.


_Fithos Lusec Chorus Vinosec_

All characters are owned by Squaresoft. And after this, I doubt they'll be willing to sell them to us.

**Seifer**: My hair is blonde, I have a gunblade,  
Because I'm the bad guy,  
I have trouble getting la..paid! 

**Irvine**:I have no worries  
I'm a sniper  
Flirt back and forth  
Like a windscreen wiper

**Seifer**: Garden is cool,  
Even though I dropped out,  
I hang out with Raijin,  
And that bird who likes to shout.

**Irvine**:I take aim and fire  
Your heart's my desire

**Seifer**:I have problems enough,  
With me being blonde,  
I want to be strong,  
Like pointy-ears Elrond.  
I hate Squall so, he gave me this scar,  
With a name like that, he'll never go far,  
He may be the Estharian heir,  
But he get laughed at with his stupid hair.  
My first day here,  
I got this good tip,  
Dude, you'll do well by take my adive,  
Don't piss off the blonde with the whip!

**Irvine**:Her hair goes 'flick'  
She's mighty thick  
But ah, so sweet  
My Selphie-treat.

**Seifer**:Selphie's annoying, she likes to yell,  
I don't know why Irvine thinks she's swell,  
Perhaps tonight, if my head chooses to swell,  
I'll chuck that annoying ditz down a well.

**Zell**:I like to skate  
It's really great  
I wear neat togs  
And eat hot dogs

I'm ZELL ZELL ZELL!

**Seifer**:I did the SeeD test,  
Squall was a real pest,  
And that's not the end of it all,  
The worst thing of all,  
That made it all hell,  
Was being with Chicken-Wuss Zell.

**Squall**:This big machine  
Was really mean  
And chased us down the mountain  
It wouldn't stop  
Not by the shop  
Nor even by the fountain  
We had our escape,  
It was a tough scrape,  
We saved the dog 'n' all,  
That machine blew up,  
Quistis saved all,  
But not even she, the fairest of all,  
Could save me from the graduation ball.

*_Enter Rinoa, stage left_*

**Rinoa**:I have black haaaair,  
And I'm very faaair,  
I dance really well,  
The crowd all went wow,  
So I'll shove off right now.

**Squall**:Who was that bird  
Who made me dance?  
It's quite absurd  
I'm in a trance!

That dress was...short  
And how we danced  
But best of all  
I saw her pants.

Timber was swell  
(Apart from Selph 'n' Zell)  
We all met Edea  
She invoked feeee-ar

Seifer turned up,  
Quite unexpectedly,  
But quite frankly,  
I think he just wanted to be on TV.

Of to Galbadia now,  
Because I heard it's nice,  
Just hope the rumours aren't true,  
About them training mice.

Galbadia's....big  
It's huge and scary  
And Irvine Kinneas  
Is somewhat hairy  
But he shoots that gun  
Without a blink  
And wow - he's sexy  
Makes you think!  
I reckon Selphie  
Likes him lots  
For Irvine Kinneas  
She's got the hots.

The sniper swaggered,  
Causing all the girls to flutter,  
He's warm like soft butter,  
Although I'm sure it's Selphie he will woo,  
I'm beginning to think I fancy him too!

The wimp! The cad!  
He chickened out!  
He didn't shoot her!  
I had to shout!  
He aimed, he fired  
But he missed  
I think we'll all  
Go and get pissed.

Seifer was there,  
Challenged me to a duel,  
My gunblade shone like a nice pretty jewel,  
Edea cast a spell, and I got hit,  
The music drowned out,  
My utterance of "Oh shit!"

Another dawn, another day  
That Seifer hasn't gone away  
Instead he's got me here to bully  
My head is feeling VERY woolly

In prison now, things are looking grim,  
Think the food will make me go slim,  
The torture I suffered made me itch,  
I bet Zell ends up being everyone's bitch.

Escaped prison now,  
And I really hate Seifer,  
Selphie's buggered off,  
And I'm glad to be rid of her.

I think I dreamed  
Or so it seemed  
That I was quite a pillock  
You know the sort  
Whose every thought  
Will trip him o'er a hillock

Laguuuuuuna  
Laguuuuuuna  
He's cute and quite a swooooooner  
But brains - he's none  
He waves this gun  
I think he's quite a looooooooner

Felt quite alone,  
Then discovered Ellone,  
And handed her over to Esthar,  
She sends me to the past,  
I don't know why,  
To find out, I'll have to pester.

Because of the time,  
We're lacking in rhyme,  
So let me cut to the chase,  
We won in the end, I felt so glad,  
When Rinoa kissed my face.

**Irvine**:I guess I'll second that  
I gave Selphie my hat  
And she caught me with two girls  
Bummer.

**All**:And so let us end on this heartwarming scene,  
Selphie looks younger,  
I'm sure she's fifteen.


End file.
